Elise

10:42 am: LOOK!! I'm famous! Ok, not really. In Ontario, Canada I am though. I sent my picture to this amazing artist, Kristi Ropeleski, and she ended painting it for her show. I was excited.




Her site:
http://kristiropeleski.com/index/sept07.htm

12:51 am: you know how life sucks and you think that it can't get any worse. but then it does.

i hate my job because for the whole 8 hours that i'm there i am by myself and left to my own thoughts. at first it wasn't so bad, i would make it kind of a game of things to think about while at work, or try to guess all the bands of the songs that were playing. well, seeing as how all the songs at macey's are repeated, very similar to alco (some the of the songs are even the same) this game gets very old. then my mind started to wander onto things that stress me out or things that I worry about. now this times 8 hours times by 5 days a week, get REALLY old and tiresome. i dread work so much that i cna't even enjoy the days that i have off because i keep thinking that the next day i'll be at work. i've never been in solitary confinement, but i'm guessing that my job is pretty much identical.

i think about the same things over and over again and over analyze them to where i don't know what i want in life anymore. it makes me crazy and depressed. not a good combination. and it seems the longer i stay in utah the more bitter i become against it here. i feel so shut out and cut off from nearly everyone here. i don't know how i'm going to get through school. just when i think things the worst they could possibly be and that they could only get better, things get worse. i'm running out of ideas to keep me happy. i'm second guessing everything that i plan on doing. i don't even have a plan anymore because i don't know what i want in life anymore. i don't know if graphic design is really what i want to major in and what if i start a bakery and it fails.

i want to feel accepted and like i'm doing something right. i feel like everything i do these days is the wrong thing. and it seems everyone expects me to be this certain person and do certain things and when i'm not they think i'm this horrible immoral slutty person. just because i'm not LDS doesn't mean that i don't have faith and morals just like they do. but somehow not being LDS automatically makes me a slut and a non religous person. i'm sick and tired of being pegged as someone horrible. i'm a good person! I've been kicked to the curb and judged by so many mormon people i've lost count. if they only knew how much it hurts the people they treat that way. and then they wonder why they can't convert you. i'm sorry but i could never be a part of religion that makes people feel like they shit and not good enough to be someones friend or even aquaintence. i'm sorry i'm generalizing. but for the most part from all the experiences i have had it's true. even some of so called really good friends have judged me because i'm not LDS and don't think the same way they do.

i can't wait to leave this place and never come back.

07:52 pm: i'm depressed. i hate my job. i dread going. i hate it while i'm there and then the cycle starts again.

stupid thing that happened. i had to return something to kohls and dillards, so i go to kohls wait in line only to get told that i needed to go back to the customer service desk, then wait in line again before returning my item. so then i thought i would be smart and go straight to the customer service desk in dillards, but then when i get back there she tells me to go to the department i bought it from. it was F---ing retarded. whatever. i've been frustrated lately. and i cry over stupid things like my car failing inspection.

i did buy Paramore's new cd today. it just came out today. their redoing the cafe area in borders. they're bringing in Seattle's Best Coffee.

there's a harry potter movie festival at the old theatre on center st. that sounds fun. too bad i have to work EVERY F---ing day of it. i'm still going to all the night showings. no one can stop me. well...i guess lack of wanting to spend $20 might. i did just get paid though. that was nice. $438 after taxes. not bad. i'm not use to getting $8.50 an hour. though...it's still not enough for me to stay there.

i kind of wish that i had gone home for the summer. i miss my family. i miss being happy.

01:55 pm: Amazing Juggling Finale

"Amazing Juggling Finale" on Google Video
This guy is awesome! His name is Chris Bliss and he's insane!

01:19 pm: One thing that I will definitely not miss about work is Daryl's consistant coughing and blowing of his nose. It echoes I swear in the entire building. And guess who's desk is right next to his office? Yup, mine. Darryl blowing his nose is THE MOST disgusting thing I've heard. Nope, I will definitely NOT miss that. Actually I won't really miss Daryl at all. He's kind of just annoying.

So between Erika, Jessica, Natalie and I we were able to spend $50 of my money. Not bad. I only had $13 left. We got a ton of crap. Now I am stuffed. I had a garden burger, which was really good. It was made out of rice and veggies instead of meat. It had a different taste than beef, but I could be a vegetarian and eat that. I think I gained 10 lbs just this week. Oh well, next week I'll be a poor college student again and I'll lose that extra fat...hopefully.

I've been packing up my room these past few days. I'm about halfway done. Maybe more. Our apartment seems so empty. The TV is gone, all the pictures, and that stupid tree. I'm happy about that tree being gone. Yes, I like plants but real ones. This was fake and covered is a layer of dust. It was disgustingly sad and I'm glad it's gone. Now I've just got tonight to pack the rest of it up and clean. I get to clean the bottom of the fridge. Which kind of sucks, but oh well. At least I get to clean the easy parts of the bathroom.

I don't feel as pretty with this short hair.

Oh my goodness I'm so full. Blegh...

The pictures in this room are hung way too high.

I think I've done like 3 sudoku puzzles today. I'm awesome...

Yay, Alex just called me on my work phone. That was neat. He's coming over one last time before I move, which means I don't have to ride the bus after work! Yay! That was a fun little surprise.

I like that I'm well liked by the people I work with. Nearly everyone has said how much they will miss me, when I don't really even remember their name. That's so aweful. But there's so many professors that work here and they only come in for about 5 min to get their mail. It's hard to keep them all straight. Oh well, I really did try to learn everyone.

I think that I might break down and buy a mac computer this summer. Depending on what type of job I get anyway.

11:26 am: Anyway, then Erika, Jessica, and I went to Arby's and got a ton of fattening junk food that we don't need. And we paid almost all in change, it was hilarious. The guy at the window probably thought we were crazy. So then we came back to our apartment to eat our crap and watch a movie. Erika and Jessica decide that we should watch a Hitchcock movie, and so I reccommend the best ones that I have. So we decided on Psycho, because neither Erika nor Jessica had seen it and it's probably Hitchcock's most famous. I put the movie in and that blue screen comes up and says "the movie you are about the watch is rated R" blah blah. But it's Psycho. It's black and white and from 1960. Rated R means nothing. But oh no. Erika would not watch it. I even explained all of that to her and that back then there was a like G and R and pretty much nothing in between. Ok, so I don't know if that's how it really was, but seriously, today, Psycho would be rated PG. She wouldn't watch it!!! It was so stupid. But she would watch Marnie because it's only PG-13, but it's worse than Psycho. There's a freakin rape scene and the scene at the end is worse than anything in Psycho. We ended up watching The Birds, which is more gorey than Psycho, but only rated PG. It was completely ridiculous. Even in Hitchcock's bio it says that Frenzy was the first movie to get an R rating, they dont' even acknowledge Psycho. It just really pisses me off that people won't watch movies just because they are rated R when there are movies that amazing movies and not nearly as bad as some PG-13 movies, and besides most things in the world are worse than a lot of R rate movies. My mom had a similiar experience with our old pastor. She saw this movie, Dead Man Walking, that is about this woman who leads a prisoner to God before he is executed for murder. She said it was an amazing movie and she was telling Pastor Wead about it, and he got all self-righteous and was telling her how she shouldn't watch rated R movies. She told him that was ridiculous, because this was amazing movie of a murderer who came to know the Lord, and just because it was "rated R" he wasn't going to see it. It's amazing how narrowminded people can be.

01:04 pm: I'm going to miss where I work.

I mean, the lack of work and being almost always bored every day wasn't that much fun, but the people here are extremely and genuinely nice. It's hard to find a place like that. Yes, Kristin is a bit overly protective and a bit of perfectionest, but she's still very kind. Ray randomly gives me fortune cookies. (Today's fortune was: "Your talents will bring you the highest status and prestige.") Al always says hello along with my name (now that he knows it) every time he walks by. Shirli is so cute, she forgot to bring my pencil back one day but made sure she brought it back the next day. It wasn't even my pencil, it was just a pencil in my desk, but I thought it was sweet how she took all the effort to make sure she got it back to me.

So I have tomorrow to spend $63 on campus for food. I found out that the place closes at 2:00 and it's closed on Friday. Basically I have no idea how I'm going to spend that much money just on food. Probably a lot of it will just go to waste, which sucks, because it's my money. Oh well, what can I do. I'm going to try and get Erika and Jessica to meet me there for lunch and have them get lots of ice cream and stuff.

For the past month or so I have notice that the women's bathroom in the education building has a smell of cough syrup. Every time I go in there I just get this sickly smell of sweet syrup. Well, the other day I happen to notice that the light above the sinks has a cup with some kind of red substance that resemble cough syrup or jello. I have been so curious to find out what is in that cup and who would put it there in the first place. My theory is though, that the heat from the light makes whatever it is in the cup hot and releases this heavy sweet smell over the entire bathroom. The problem is that the light is too high for me to reach the cup. So now I will never know what is behind this sweet sickly smell that thrives on the light in the women's bathroom. It will be one of those unknown mysteries.

And now that nearly everyone in this building has left. I think I will too, because it's kind of creepy all by myself. At least the janitor is super nice and not some creepy old guy that looks like a corpse like on Boy Meets World. Holy crap it's weird to be here with no on else. And now I'm just closed in this room. Blegh. I'm leaving to go be in the sun.

01:04 pm: I bought a new brand of razor for my legs and holy crap do they do a great job! I can't stop rubbing my legs together. They're so smooth, and they stay smooth longer it seems. I love it!

So the coolest thing happened yesterday! I was just walking on campus and I hear my name being called and I turn around to see Jennifer Farrell! It was awesome! She was going to WSU the whole year and we didn't bump into each other until finals week. We exchanged numbers. Jen is so awesome. I have missed her. It's too bad we couldn't have hung out this year.

I hung out with Mike last night. We went to that movie with Nicholas Cage, "Next." It was better than I thought it would be. I ended up kind of liking it despite that I'm not a big Cage fan. It was unique from other movies I've seen lately. I think that's why I liked Zodiac and The Lookout, because they were different from the average movies out there. It seems like so many movies are so predictable lately.

Yesterday I mentioned I had started reading Relient K's "The Complex Inrastructure Known as the Female Mind," well it has only gotten more witty and more honest. Each chapter describes a certain kind of girl type, and many of them are completely true. I try to go through and think about a person I know that fits each description. I can't put myself into just one yet though. I most relate to The Rock Chick, The Poet, and somewhat with The Overachiever. Right now I'm reading about The Drama Queen and it completely describes my roommate Marza which makes it even more funny. I think my roommate Erika fits into The Diva and Homecoming Queen categories and Natalie is The Overachiever. I really encourage all of you to read this book. Not only girls, but guys as well, for Relient K wrote this book with guy readers in mind. Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the book:

In regards to The Rock Chick: "If you happen to be looking down t the ground and spot a pair of black Chuck TAylors worn by a girl, there is an 80 percent chance that you have successfully identified a Rock Chick."

"For the Rock Chick, the more obscure the band/music, the better, and it is a badge of honor if she is into a group that almost no one has heard of before."

In regards to The Diva: "This morning prep time clocks in at an amazing 1 hour and 45 minutes. To give you an idea of how entirely different this is from a guy's morning, here is a guy's schedule: 2.5 minutes in the shower, 15 seconds of towel time, 45 seconds to get dressed, 10 seconds to find the ball cap under his bed, 2 seconds to apply it to his head in a jaunty manner. This male morning prep time comes to a whopping total of 4.45 minutes."

In regards to the Homecoming Queen: "Most HQs, as you might guess, have blonde hair, whether it's natural or not." "If we were to take an educated guess, it would break out like this: Blonde HQ = 60%, Brunette HQ = 35%, Black haired HQ = 5%. Blondes would definitely win out with almost a 2-1 margin."

In regards to The Poet: "She loves to carry her oversized, black portfolio stuffed with sketches and supplies. Her favorite medium is charcoal and conte crayons because they are messy and she really loves to get into her art-especially if she is wearing as much art supply as ends up on the paper."

You can really tell that I am super bored here at work with nothing to do but type up quotes from the book I'm reading. I'm tempted to leave early because I'm starting to fall asleep and I'm bored out of my flippin' mind. I've been here for 7 hours. Just one more hour to go though. I can do that. Blegh. Do I really want to?

I figured out how to turn up the volume on my computer!! I can listen to music now!! WOOT! I have it super soft so no one would even be able to tell that I'm listening to anything, but I can hear it and it makes all the difference! Now I just need to put more music on my little flash drive, Gregory Jr. Yes. I named my flash drive. I named my computer Gregory, so my flash drive had to be little Gregory Jr. All I have for music right now is Regina Spektor and The Academy Is..'s early EP that really isn't that great. But now that I have this whole speaker thing figured out I'm totally bringing more music.

I started this entry at about 10:30 this morning and have been adding to it all day long, which is why it is super long and I can't imagine that any or all of you would read it, but that is awesome if you did. 6 days and I'll be in Logan! 4 days and I leave my apartment!

02:54 pm: I'M DONE!
I'm all done with finals and classes and everything!! I actually didn't even have any finals. Just two final art projects which were a piece of cake, pretty much. Yeah, that was pretty awesome. Now I get to work full-time this week. Woot... Not. It's going to be so boring. But oh well. I need the money. That way I'll be set this whole month of May, so in case a job doesn't come up for a while, I should be good.

This time next week I'll be in Logan! Woot! I hope I get good roommates. But at least I'll have my own room and bathroom. Oh man, I'm so excited about that. My mom thinks that I should tell Marza that she is a selfish lazy bitch. Because she is. She doesn't do anything and only cares about herself. I told Erika that I would be surprised if she cleans what she is supposed to. But if she doesn't none of us will get our deposit. Oh I would be pissed off. I would email her hate mail. I've seriously never been so hateful towards any person before. I really just have no sympathy or compassion for her at all.

Blah. I've had so many zits lately. It's not cool. And they aren't just little zit breakouts it's like mountains that build up pressure and hurt like crazy.

I finally have the time to read. I am currently enjoying the Relient K book, "The Complex Infrastructure Known as the Female Mind." It's really good so far. Very honest and witty, like Relient K. They are pretty much one of the coolest bands ever.

10:17 am: I don't know how I am going to deal with just working this next week. I will have no homework to distract me. I think I might rip someone's hair our or kill myself. Kristin is getting more and more annoying and Janet just always seems to be in this la la land and doesn't realize that there are all these students waiting to talk to her. Kathy is going to be gone all week in Hawaii. It's going to be a nightmare. I think I might die. Seriously. And Marza is getting on my nerves. I assigned her to clean the bathtub and the sink. We'll see if she actually does it. I'm going to be pissed. Because if she doesn't we won't get our deposit back, and I could really use that $100. She's such a selfish bitch. I hate her. She's ALWAYS in this happy la la land and doesn't care about anyone else.

I took Erika and her friend Megan out to dinner last night, because I have over $100 on my wildcard left still, that I won't get back, so I'm trying to spend it. I think I might buy a couple whole pizzas or something.

I'm really confused on this whole depth requirement thing at USU. Could someone explain that to me? Because it seems like most of the classes need prerequisites to get in to the class and none of them fall under my major. It seems like I'm going to have to do all these prerequisites to even get my required classes. I'm kind of annoyed.

11:16 am: 24 more days until I leave WSU!!!! WOOT!!!
I'm so excited to leave!! Even though...USU gave me crap for financial aid. I got 2 loans. yippee. No work-study, no scholarships. nothing. So that sucks a lot. I am kind of mad. But that's what I get for being a stupid transfer student. transfers get crap.

on a happier note, I have an interview for a job at Great Harvest on Friday. So that's cool. I'd rather get this other job at a sign designing place though. I would be able to work full-time during the summer.

I had a presentation in English today. I always get so scared when presenting, but I think actually did pretty good. The whole class had to evaluate me and I got really good responses. PLUS I think it helped that I brought cream puffs for everyone. My research paper was about starting my own bakery/coffee shop business, so I thought it would be legitimate to bring something that I baked. Doing the research really got me excited about having my own bakery. I read all about this lady who started her own business just by peddling her desserts around to restaurants and before long demand was so high that she was able to buy a building. I really love baking things and seeing people love what I bake. I want to try coming up with my own recipes now and experimenting with different things, so when I come up to Logan, everyone will probably get random stops from me who has too many baked goods... :D

I'm so happy that it's almost the middle of April. Oh man. I'm so excited. I want to start packing already! After this week, only 2 more weeks of school after this week is over!! Holy crap!! I had no idea!! 2 WEEKS!! And then a week of work. 3 weeks and I'm DONE!! WOOT!! Oh man, I hadn't really figured that out! Man, that's awesome!

12:08 pm: So, I made a deposit for my apartment last week! Woot! I'm gonna be living at Glenwood. I'm so excited to move. Oh man. I'm gonna miss my roommate Erika though. She's so funny.

I'm going to start growing some of my own herbs. I'm excited. I hope they don't die.

12:21 pm: OH MY HELL!

This one lady has called 6 times in the last 20 minutes!! It's driving me insane!!

05:58 pm: i don't like how some songs bring back memories from my past that are so strong that I don't want to listen to that song anymore. it sucks, because sometimes they are really good songs, but it just sucks to listen to them.

11:20 am: Anyone interested in hanging out for St. Patty's Day and having a shin dig? Because that would be fun. I'd make food. :D *nudge*

02:19 pm: oh man, so today I found out in my 2D: Design class that next week's classes are canceled. And next class on Thursday doesn't start until 10 am. And then the next week is spring break. Oh I am so happy. I mean I like that class...but he explains everything like 10 times and it's already bad, because I've learned pretty much everything he talks about already back in middle school. So yeah. I have a 2 week break from that class. It's going to be awesome. Hooray! I'll be able to get in a few more hours for work too, before spring break, so that'll be good.

11:10 am: there is only 2 months left of school!?! How exciting is that?!? I'm pretty excited. Oh yay. I can't even deal with it. I'm so happy to be leaving this hell hole. Alex and I drove around looking at apartments yesterday, thought it's hard to tell, just by looking at the outside. But now I have a better vision in my mind of what each place looks like. I need to make appointments to go around and look inside each of them.

i watched the oscars last night. as always. there were a lot of ridiculous montages that got kind of old. but the people who made shadow figures. they were awesome. i'm not too thrilled with The Departed winning for Best Picture. I really didn't think it was that great. i'm glad Little Miss Sunshine won for most original screenplay. That was cool. And Pan's Labyrinth rightfully won for make-up and cinematography. Even though I didn't really like the movie that much, the cinematography was pretty awesome.

Me and Alex went and saw The Number 23. It wasn't too bad. Some of the acting was a little cheesy in parts, but it was still worth seeing. I thought Jim Carrey did a good job.

My sister is mad at me because I went to Logan and didn't go home. I'm just tired of my mom trying to do everything for me. I don't ask her to. She just does. It's irritating.

09:42 am: I haven't written for a week because last Monday night I got super sick with the stomach flu. It was horrible. I hate being sick. I missed both my Tuesday classes and Wednesday classes, and still didn't feel like going on Thursday, but I made myself. Rice is the most disgusting thing to throw up. Believe me. I've been turned off of rice for a while.

I am super tired. I was just trying to do my LIBS assignment, but I kept falling asleep as I read the textbook. So here I am.

Marza is back after a week of having the bathroom to myself. I cleaned it, so it would stay clean for awhile. I leave for 3 days, THREE and it's already disgusting. Her crap is everywhere, there's a layer of hair, and there is some sort of gunk in the sink. Seriously. She drives me up the wall.

So this boy my roommate, Erika, has been dating got set apart last night. She was pretty upset. So she and I had a girls night and watched John Tucker Must Die while eating popcorn, candy, and graham crackers with frosting. I think it made her feel better. She's been so depressed lately. I feel bad. She's thinking about transferring to USU also. All her friends went there and she hates Weber State, but they don't have a golf team. And golf is pretty much paying for her entire schooling. I feel bad, because I totally know how she feels, except that it's pretty much a toss up because I get about the same money from either school, so it's a lot easier for me to decide that I want to transfer to USU. Where as she would be making her parents pay all this money that they didn't have to if she had stayed at Weber, though she would be miserable if she stayed. So I dunno what she's gonna do.

I think I'm gonna move to Logan in the summer. I talked to my mom about it and she seemed fine with it. Because if I just rented that cheap apartment for the summer, it would only be for 3 months. So if it was so horrible, I would only have to deal with it for 3 months. Maybe I could get a job at Dillards, they pay good money, and they offered me a job before. OR Borders. That would be way cooler.

Oh my hell. Some of the people here are so strange. I can't even explain it. It's like there's a whole group of people that thing everyone is retarded and can't tell their own head from their ass. Seriously...some of the people here are like the boss on Office Space. - Alex pointed that out to me. Like my boss for instance. She explains everything in DETAIL on a sticky note attached to whatever the note refers to, but then ALSO talks to me about it in DETAIL on what I need to do, when everything she said was on the sticky note. It's like why even bother to write it down when and kill a baby tree when you are just going to come in and explain it to me in person. I should just not go to work. Except that I can't really do that...but that would be cool if I could just not go anymore. oh well. I think that if there was a guy like Milton than things would be better. At least he would keep me entertained. There is a guy in the office behind me who whistles all the time. And the lady to the right of me is deaf in one ear, so I always have to yell when I talk to her.

I really hope that starting my own business will work out. I think that I would be heartbroken if it failed.

12:34 pm: The lady I work with, Janet, just asked if I would like to volunteer to be on this committee with her. It's for giving out awards to students and teachers. She said basically it's like the Oscars at Weber State. So she wondered if I would like to Co-Chair with her a committee of people! Doesn't that sound like fun! I think it does. Plus, me and her will be in charge of it. Well..our committee of people I guess. I'm not exactly sure how it works, but I think it sounds exciting. It's funny how little things can make your day better.

10:27 am: The Jack's Mannequin concert was awesome!! You can tell they have got so much more support this time not only by how many people were there, but their show was awesome! They did all these lights and oh, it was just awesome. I have a scratchy voice from screaming and singing so loud. I was dancing all around. IT was awesome. They also played some old Something Corporate songs, so that was really neat. They did the original ballad version of Punk Rock Princess, which was really different from the more rockin' version, but I liked it. Pretty much that was one of the best concerts, although it could have been better if there hadn't been a chainsmoking chimney right next to us. You know, it's fine if people don't care about their health, but I think they should be considerate of other's and not smoke throughout the ENTIRE concert. But oh well.